Update on life

Jared came home on the 5th of March (Tuesday). I was really hoping for a euphoric period where he was so happy to be home that he would be really good. No such luck. By Thursday he was back to being mean to the other kids. The only change I've noticed in him is that his outbursts are more manageable and not as destructive. He still wants thing his way all of the time and if that doesn't happen he get's upset. All the kids do is fight. Kaleigh and Anthony think that the louder they scream, the more Jared will get in trouble. Those of you who know Kaleigh, what she lacks in size, she has made up in sound. She has a scream that is ear piercing and she is stubborn and doesn't give up. I know this sounds like all I'm doing is complaining. I guess I am.

On a better note, I'm most likely going to be quitting my job at the end of the school year. My boss doesn't want Jared at the daycare and I don't know if I'll be able to get him into a summer program again this summer. I've already been to the school district and have started the process to work in the lunch program. I've filled out all the paper work and have done my back ground check. Now I have to take a physical abilities test and do some stuff on line and I will be put on the sub list. Once I'm on that list, I can start applying for jobs in the school. I'm hoping to be able to get on at a school around here for next year. Kaleigh will be in first grade and going all day. That way I'll be on the same schedule as my kids plus it would pay much better. I hope it all works out.

Jared's progress (Warning: long post)

As most of you know, Jared has really struggled lately. He has always had problems keeping his anger under control. About 3 weeks ago, we had a terrible weekend. It started on Friday at school. He was hitting other kids, his teachers, throwing chairs and his desk. I was in an eye appointment and the school couldn't get a hold of me so they sent home a letter. The next day, he had a couple of outbursts during the day. That evening we went to the church for the Blue and Gold banquet for scouts. He had a really good time and also got a bead. When it was over, he wanted to go to his friends house and play. It was after 7:00 so I told him no. He blew up and started yelling and swearing at me. I made him get in the car and took him home where the verbal abuse continued along with him trying to throw anything he could get his hands on. After a while he finally calmed down. On Sunday, something set him off during primary and he came running into Relief Society really upset. I took him out and talked to him. I told him if he could calm down, he could come and sit with me. He finally did. That afternoon he was playing on my computer. The game he was playing wasn't going the way he wanted so he started slamming the keyboard and hitting the computer screen. I took the computer away from him and he started on his rampage again, kicking, hitting and yelling. When Chad tried to talk to him, he yelled at Chad and told him he was going to get a knife and kill him. I finally decided that we needed to take him to the ER and have a crisis evaluation done on him. I told Chad to stay home with the other kids and I called LillieAnn and asked her to go to the hospital with me. As I was driving to her house (about a mile away), he kicked me several times. When we got to Lill's, he jumped out of the car and ran. I called the non emergency police number and explained the situation and asked if an officer could come. My sister lives around the corner from the Harrisville police station. They sent an officer over and he helped us find Jared. By this time, he had shredded the shirt he was wearing. The officer talked to him and us but there really wasn't much he could do. By the time he left, Jared had calmed down. I figured if I tried to take him to the ER, they would just laugh at me so we took him home. Later that night, he had another blow up. I took him to his room and made him stay there till he fell asleep. The next day I called the school to let the principal know how the weekend had gone. She was out for the day so I asked for his teacher. She was also out for the day so I asked to talk to on of the aids. She reported to me that he had already had a hard morning (he had only been there 45 minutes). In that time, he had dumped his desk, thrown his chair, thrown toys at other children, hit a couple of the aids and hit another child. When I got off the phone with them, I called his psych doctor. I couldn't get a hold of her and in the meantime, the behavioral specialist for Weber County called me. I told her I was trying to get a hold of his doctor and that I would call her back. I finally got a hold of the doctors nurse and told her what was going on. She talked to the doctor and told me to take him the the ER and that the doctor would call up there to let them know we were coming and even if he was calm, he needed to be evaluated. Chad came home from work and we went and picked Jared up from school. I called my dad and asked him to meet us there. When we got there, they immediately took us back to an exam room but ended up making us sit there for 5 hours. The decision was made that he needed to be transferred to the Behavioral Health Institute (BHI). We followed the worker up there and signed the paperwork to admit him. Leaving him there has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my whole life. I cried all night. While he has been there, they have tried him on a couple of different medications. The first one they tried him on ended up sending him into a manic state. He had to be sedated with a shot because he was harming himself. He had scratched himself in the face, hit his arms on the walls so hard that it caused bruises on them and kicked things hard enough that he now has a hairline fracture in his foot below his little toe. He was in a boot for a week but they ended up having to take it from him because he kept taking it off and hitting people with it. That was on a  Saturday and the next Monday's visit was horrible. He was mean and told us to leave, that he didn't want us there. We finally left and that was so hard on me. Again, I cried all night. That week was hard but then Thursday and Friday he did really good. I met with the doctor and he told me that if he continued to do good, he would recommend on Monday for him to go home. I was so exited. Then on Sunday he started acting out again and by Monday he was having to be sedated again. I was crushed.  On Tuesday they started him on some new medication and by Thursday he was doing better. Also on Thursday he got a cast put on that will need to stay for three weeks. Kaleigh got to go with me to his appointment. They were so excited to see each other. He has had many roller coaster days. He'll do good for a couple of days and then crash. The doctor is 99.9% sure he is bipolar and what is happening now is that he is cycling. As of today he is still having a good day. The staff told me he is being more cooperative and re directional. My biggest worry now is that we will plan to bring him home and he will crash again. I miss him so much. I know he needs to be there to be able to be stabilized on medication but it doesn't make it any easier. It's hard to find babysitters every night for the other two so we can go see Jared. I had a really hard time at church today also. As I sat there in sacrament meeting, I couldn't contain my emotions. During the sacrament was the hardest. Jared loves to take the bread and water from the deacon and pass it to each of us. I really missed that today. He always does it with the biggest grin on his face. My dad came down today and gave him a blessing. We meet with the doctor again tomorrow. I pray he is still doing good.